my life is dog.
such as dog.


So “Teddy Roosevelt Mascot” is the best thing ive ever googled ever.
i literally can not be upset about anything ever again
I’m scared now.
BULLY
(via gazingintotheabyss)
Follow him he’s cute!
It’s going to have EXCLUSIVE-ASS PICTURES that won’t be available through ANY OTHER NEWS OUTLET
So do it!
*mwah*
dead.
Finally all in one place!
(Source: lizzie-swaguire, via gazingintotheabyss)
Tim: “When Shrek the Third came out, for months everyday you’d get bombarded with like ‘the wait is ogre’ garbage shoveled at you […] and I woke up the week before the premiere came out with the idea that Eric and I would just promote Shrek as an experimental joke […] that’s probably my favourite thing of all time, it was just so dumb.”
Eric: “It was all positive comments and 15 promos, there are still people out there who hate us because they thought we were supporting this film.”
(Source: thespacegoat, via gazingintotheabyss)
Otis is a murderous psychopath at heart
(Source: thefrogman, via otisthecorgi)
real women have curves, real sharks disguise themselves as women so they can get close to their prey
Drawn by Jo B. [tumblr | deviantART] for We All Draw

“Take me to the king,” she said
“And what does it mean that your body is charged?!”
In the metro system, tickets can only be stamped once.
First, the unsuspecting guest would be struck through the curtain, then dragged into the other half of the cabin, where he would stripped of clothing and valuables.
But a corpse like this one, so completely hammered out of shape…it was different, almost supernatural.
“While I was willing, the man was a drunkard and began abusing me from the very first day.”
GUYS I DO NOT LIKE THE SOUND OF THAT
“Get settled, he thought, and Mike will be in touch.”
Oh no.
“Just as the average velocities approach a limit as t approaches 1, the slopes of the secant lines approach the same limit as t approaches 1.”
Buckle up, ladies.